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By Dragon the cat and Ruby the rat
Creature View got its copy of the Lego Harry Potter years 1-4 video game and after numerous hours of playing Ruby the mouse and Dragon the cat finally have their reviews.
Ruby’s Review
I was very excited to test the new Harry Potter Lego game. Finally, a game that would not involve decimated worlds or gratuitous violence. And this game lived up to my expectations; the Harry Potter world is brought to life. The feel of Hogwarts is absolutely perfect. Whenever I go to Hogwarts I feel like I’m returning home. Every room, like the potions room, is packed full of details fans of the books will enjoy. And the each character has its own personality from how they flip their hair to how they wave their wands. My one complaint is Dragon keeps cursing me for no reason, stupid cat. It gets really bad when he plays Voldemort.
Dragon’s Review
I must admit I was skeptical about a Lego video game version of the Harry Potter world. How could a Lego game capture a world which is so vivid in my mind? After running around a bit cursing people strolling down Diagon Alley, however, I was hooked. I could spend, I have spent, hours casting curses to make people’s heads swell up like melons or have flowers sprout from their heads or humorous other humiliations inflicted upon them. And do not get me started about having avada kedavra. The only downside to the game is having to stop playing and return to reality where I possess no such powers. I do have one complaint, there needs to be more spells and magical creatures.
By Dragon the Cat
Showing complete lack of sensibilities we sent Squirrel to review Tim Burton’s Alice and Wonderland. This was rather an obvious mistake. Anytime we ask ourselves, ‘how much harm can one squirrel do?’ we should know we made the wrong decision. I did try to warn Squirrel by telling him sage advice from my father, never eat food from a Hippie, especially while watching a Disney movie. Alias Squirrel did not follow this advice and ate a large amount of brownies provided to him by a couple who referred to themselves and Sky and Morning Light. Squirrel said the brownies had an unusual earthy taste to them but Morning Light assured him they were legit.
Halfway through the movie Squirrel thought it was a call to action for all animals to rise up and over throw tyranny. Squirrel then began running around the theater trying to recruit other creatures. Since it was the 3-D version of Alice in Wonderland, most of the audience members thought Squirrel was in the movie. The typical response to Squirrel was something like, “Dude, I don’t remember a ratty looking squirrel in the original.” This incised Squirrel, who thought it was his duty as a creature to spawn a revolution, so he crawled into the sub flooring and convinced the horde of rats living there to jump out while the movie was still on just for a bit of fun. Needless to say this got everyone’s attention. We apologize to all the moviegoers who missed out on the second half of Alice in Wonderland because of this. But next time you see a squirrel trying to start a revolution, don’t tell him he is ratty looking. We also apologize about the aftermath when the rats finished eating all the Hippie food and unleashed wave after wave of stoned-rat induced chaos on downtown San Francisco.
The copyright on the original book has expired an you can download for free here
By Dragon the cat and Ruby the rat
It is the holiday season and that means time for the next crazy toy idea. This year Zhu Zhu Pets, a robotic hamster is the leading candidate for next year’s closet clutterer. We decided to review this new product for all those moms and dads looking for the perfect gift that will be enjoyed for at least ten minutes before being discarded in favor of the box it came in.
Ruby
I love Zhu Zhu Pets. I own five or six myself. Everyday when I am just about to leave the safety of my hole I let one loose to distract the cats. This trick always works without fail. The cats go for it and I make my escape. Thank you Zhu Zhu Pets. These little toys saved my life more than once. I plan to buy an army of so i can take on IBM’s robo-cat. A mouse can never to too safe.
Dragon
This is such a typical human thing. These things are dreadful. They are really easy to catch, providing no thrill to the hunt whatsoever and taste awful. I mean they taste really just incredibly awful. If Zhu Zhu Pets is going to all the effort to make a robotic hamster the least they can do is make them taste good. How hard can that be? I suggest the next version being tuna flavored. And also make them just a tad bit faster. I really like to work up an appetite when hunting my prey.
By Dragon the cat and Ruby the rat
Creature Time sent Ruby and Dragon to review the musical South Pacific showing in San Francisco, CA. South Pacific is playing at Golden Gate Theater Sept 09.
Ruby
It is amazing the number songs you know and love came from South Pacific. The musical feels like a fun history lesson on musical theater. And South Pacific’s message, although dated, is still relevant today and far more meaningful than the nihilistic and depressing messages of popular musicals today like Avenue Q. Still a little action would be nice. In the audience I could see people twisting in their seats trying to stay awake. This is especially disconcerting if you are seated next to a animal who routinely preys on your species. I swear Dragon kept looking at me with those huge dilated eyes of his with food on his mind. Dragon’s gaze made me think I should go on a diet. It is always better to be the thinnest prey around.
Dragon
I am not one who enjoys being sung at by over enthusiastic people is funny clothing with the intent to convey a story so, for most musicals, I try to look past my gag reflex to find redeeming qualities. Even so, it is amazing how anyone can take such an exciting event as WWII and make it about as boring and flavorless as a glass of water. South Pacific achieved just that. This is a truly monumental achievement for WWII holds a special place in our hearts (mostly males hearts) as a genre that can almost always be trusted to deliver excitement and a few good explosions. But, alias, there was none of that in South Pacific. To keep my interest I kept daydreaming of having a taste of Ruby with her oh so subtly plump hips and tasty back end.
By Dragon the cat and Ruby the rat
FallOut 3 has been out long enough for the price to be a bit more reasonable and that is just the time for a tardy review. The game is set in post-nuclear war Washington DC. A new version set in Las Vegas is due out before the 09 holiday season. It is available on PS3, XBox and PC.
Ruby
This video game is way too dark and scary for a mouse. I fail to understand why the characters stuck in this world make some attempt to live in harmony. Instead they seem bent of killing each other in one pointless battle after another. I highly recommend the creators of the game have a long sit down with a certified therapist to discuss their excessive desire for violence. The one saving graces are some of the women have sexy outfits and the art-deco style of the destroyed cities look way cooler than most real cities in mint condition.
Dragon
Fall Out 3 is a post-apocalyptic world with zombies, mutants and high explosives, just my kind of video game. With stunning graphics and open world a player can quickly get immersed for hours. If playing a female character recommend black widow perk and the male character can be your tools. My one complaint is preventing characters from going past level 20. If I want to spend all my time creating uber characters that can wipe out armies with a snap of my finger, that’s my business.
By Dragon the cat and Ruby the rat
Although the PlayStation 3 game, Flower has been out for a while we decided it was worth a late review. The basic concept of the game is you are a flower petal floating in the wind through a flower-covered meadow trying to encourage other petals to join you. As the game progresses you can collect a large number of flower petals creating a huge cloud of color. Available in the PlayStation store for $9.99. You can read more here.
Mouse
I the game so relaxing and enjoyable! No creepy monsters lurking around plotting to kill me, no exploding booby traps, it so was so relaxing (except stupid level where my petals kept getting electrocuted -stupid downed power lines). The game was like being a forest spirit roaming around gathering followers. The music, graphics and game play all worked well together. The sound as your petal glides among the grass is perfect. Although Dragon the cat won’t admit it, he enjoyed chasing the flower petals on the TV screen.
Dragon
I found the game a bit boring. There was nothing to chase down, nothing to kill and, most importantly, no explosions. I would have much preferred if the gently flowing meadows were filled with tasty mice like Ruby. Nothing beats feasting on a nice juicy mouse. On the plus side the physics engine is very realistic and the game play can be fun. You can pick up a lot of speed racing through the meadows. Over all I say it was worth the money just to have one game where things don’t die. It is a bit short but for 9.99 what do you expect?
by Dragon · by Ruby · Reviews · Video games
By Dragon the cat
We at Null Knowledge have been concerned for sometime about the worrisome state of our Society. It is in decline, suffering for far too long under the relentless torment of corporate stoolies under the guise of modern rock. But, finally, we have a liberator, a liberator whose music brings the promise of a new age of musical enlightenment. Of course I am talking about Battles. Battles reminds us here at Null Knowledge that music does not have to be designed by MBAs for brain-dead people and performed by people who, at a very deep level, simply don’t care beyond the money they hope to earn. If you do care about music check out Battles.
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Other links:
Battles – Tonto
Battles-Atlas live
Battles-Atlas live (Japan)
Battles – Tij – Live (Our favorite recording)
By Ruby the rat
Caffeinated Comics recently opened in the San Francisco Mission district. As its name suggests, it sells both coffee and comic books. When we heard of a coffee shop which also sells comic books we knew we had to send a reporter to investigate. Showing severe lapse in judgment we sent Squirrel to write a review. The result was an extremely agitated and caffeinated Squirrel running around the office rambling about comics and coffee. Squirrels best not have more than twelve espresso shots per-hour. Below is a picture of him in his highly excited state:
It took six hours to corner him long enough to get his review before he bolted from the office yelling he was going to starting a revolution in Canada. From what we gathered the café has the latest comics, plenty of coffee and is a fun place to watch people (and more importantly their dogs) strolling down Mission Street. Caffeinated Comics is nestled between Blue Plate and El Rio. This might explain why Squirrel smelled of tequila and charged $200 to out corporate credit card for dinner.
