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by Squirrel
This week American Idol came to San Francisco. The concept of talent show dedicated to annoying humans with bad singing is not new to creature kind. Creatures even have their own version called CoquiFrog Idol. Like American Idol, the goal is make the most irritating and distressful sounds imaginable in order to annoy humans. But, instead of paying egoistical judges looking for media attention we randomly select humans just trying to relax and get a good night’s sleep. Just as the humans doze off the competition begins! The rules are simple; the first one to wake the human from his slumbers wins. You can earn extra points if the human leaps out of bed and rampages around the yard in their panamas in a vain attempt to kill you. The winner for the last six years has been Troy from Maui. When not annoying humans he is known for surfing and hanging out in a local tiki bar. We take our hats off here at Creature View for Troy’s incredible winning streak.
By Sue the Black Widow
Valentine’s Day is a lonely day for us black widow spiders. Our suitors seldom are around long enough for us to enjoy some real quality time together. The problem is male black widow spiders are just so darn tasty and they never bring chocolate. Sure, they always bring flowers. Male black window always remember to bring flowers. But honestly girls, flowers just are not the same as a good box of chocolate. Especially if the night gets romantic, a girl just works up an appetite and if there is no chocolate to be found and girl’s gotta eat.
By Squirrel
A Renegade Craft event is coming to San Francisco this week end (Dec 19-20 2009) at Fort Mason. Check their website for scheduling to other cities. Creature View highly recommends this event for the craft or art enthusiast in your household.
Last year I went and enjoyed myself to no ends however people kept attempting to buy me. I admit I am utterly cute with my bushy tail and adorable cheeks but I am not a stuffed animal! I can’t tell you how many times some picked me up and gave me a big squeeze and asked how much for the ratty looking stuffed animal. This year if any people see a drunken squirrel running about please HANDS OFF! It will probably be me. However, if you are willing to pay for a hug or perhaps more we can come to an arrangement.
Art · Bay Area · by Squirrel · Events · LifeStyle
By Ruby the rat
The Marin Art Festival is this weekend and Squirrel from Creature View will be there. the festival has food, wine, art and numerous sweaty people strolling beneath the warm Marin sun. So is you stumble upon squirrel loitering around the wine bar chat him up!
By Ruby the rat
The Maker Faire is this weekend (May 30 & 31, 2009) in San Mateo, CA and Creature View will be there with our report arts and culture reporter Squirrel. If there are large robots that could potentially go berserk and destroy large segments of a city we want to be there! So, if you see a squirrel at the Maker Faire sit down and start talking to it. Don’t be shy! If it’s Squirrel, he may interview you for this site. If not, it will confirm your friends’ suspicion that you are crazy. Either way you win!
By Ruby the rat
The Mission Spring Studio Stroll was this weekend in the San Francisco Mission District. The staff at Creature View, always wanting to be near free wine, was there with our intrepid arts and culture reporter, Squirrel. Squirrel drank gallons of free wine he could find then climbed up into the rafters and squirted oil paint on the people below. In the police report he said he was doing performance art. Before his arrest he did collect lots of fliers and we will add the websites to our link section.
by Squirrel
Creature View’s arts and cultural reporter me, Squirrel, attended Indie Mart in San Francisco this weekend. The event, which bills itself as the largest of its type, was more similar to a bar with a tremendously cool view of people selling locally made goods and artsy stuff to slightly tipsy people. Tipsy and artsy always go well together and where else can you get a necklace made with a genuine rat head? Creature View whole heatedly supports such things.
We have gathered some new websites from Indie Mart and Wondercon which we added the links section. Here in the San Francisco Bay Area nothing truly exists unless it has a website. Something may look real and may even feel real but if it lacks a website it cannot be really real. This can get us into difficult situations. Case in point, when explaining to relatives who are no where on the Internet that, in fact, they don’t exist. At first they resist but, eventually, the truth of my words compels them.
Art · Bay Area · by Squirrel · Events
By Ruby the rat
WonderCon 2009 was this weekend in the Moscone Center in San Francisco. Creature View, wanting to be at the center of such artistic delights, sent our arts and culture reporter, Squirrel, to provide in-depth coverage of the event. Instead, the reporter sent bask a 800-page article on the new hand driers installed in the restrooms. Apparently, they are made by Dyson and seemed to have left quite an impression on him. Squirrel even started taking photos of the device, but this struck a nerve security and he was forcibly removed. It seems photo shoots in bathrooms put off some people. We at Creature View, who routinely go to the bathroom in public, fail to see what all the fuss is about. Going back to the hand drier, Squirrel told us the instructions stipulated to carefully insert both hands in the device with a downward motion then remove them very slowly and, of course, gently. They even provided a diagram of how to accomplish this feat just to make sure no one put the wrong appendage in the device by mistake. This amused Squirrel to no end and he repeatedly dried his hands to such an extent that he needed to soak his hands in a sink filled with lotion for hours when he got home.
Squirrel also claimed he got no freebies. We know this is a lie. Squirrel had to have to have gotten lots of cool free stuff. We can only assume he just does not want to share. So we have little else to say about WonderCon 2009 other than we will not be sending this reporter to WonderCon next year .
