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by Dr Cyber-Kat
I read an interesting article from Science Daily today about how human evolution was advanced by the close association of humans with animals such as cats and dogs. This got me pondering what affect humans have had on dog and cat evolution. I think it is safe to say humans have had a profoundly negative impact on the evolutionary development of cats and dogs. Take two examples:
Before man wolves were known as the most straightforward of all the creatures. If you needed an honest opinion a wolf, just before attempting to eat you, would gladly provide one. Since coming into contact with the so easily manipulated humans, wolves degenerated into dogs, who gladly feigns caring when a human comes home if only to secure the next meal. A wolf would have just made a meal of the returning human.
Cats, before domesticating humans, were known as the intellectual doers among creaturekind always trying to expand our understanding of the Universe and society. But humans allowed us to become lazy and instead of researching things such as particle physics too many cats today watch TV or video games or drifting wisps of dust.
So, humanity, while you applaud the evolution of your species remember the cats and dogs who de-evolved to get you here.
By Squirrel
People, showing their insatiable appetite for pointing out flaws in others, have charged squirrels with being deceptive. Big deal people! Of all species cluttered on this planet, people are the last that can point fingers. People are by far the most deceptive of all animals. Here are four examples just to name a few:
- You shave off your fur -not all of it mind you but just, for some reason, parts of it.
- You adorn clothing to hide your growing bellies ballooning out like an ever expanding watermelon of fat.
- You drench your body in perfume because because oddly enough you hate the way you smell.
- And, to conduct this experiment, you used a robotic squirrel!
Using a robotic squirrel is clearly cruelly deceptive! How would you like to come across a cute furry little thing that was flirting with you only to discover she/he/it was a robot? Unless you are into that sort of thing I would imagine you would feel fairly put off. So, humans, look to your own deception before pointing to others. And by the way, sorry about that whole plague thing in LA.
by George the Killer Whale
There has been a lot of controversial since humans have begun their vast effort to raise the Earth’s global temperature. Many animals are against the human’s efforts. Well, I am here to voice the opinion of killer whales and great white sharks across the globe. We are united in giving full support to the human’s efforts to create global warming. Because a warmer planet means less ice which in turn means more ocean and that is just fine with us. We are unclear as to the human’s motives but who cares? The ocean only cover 70% of the Earth and we think that is just not enough. I for one am looking forward to a nice vacation in Florida and that just can’t happen unless sea levels rises another 2 to 3 meters. So humans drive more, burn your forests and uses more coal so someday we will be your neighbor. And remember why some creatures might not support you the kill whales and great white sharks are behind you 100%. By the way when you go out on the beach use less sunscreen. It tastes awful.
by George · Current Events · Nature · Science · Stupid humans
By Dante the Dog.
NASA has crashed a probe into moon week in an effort to find water. . Dogs think their ingenuity is remarkable but suggest they may have been influenced by on of the greatest animal pioneers of all time, Ronny the Raccoon. Ronny was the first animal to discover that although metallic and boring on the outside trashcans are filled with an astonishing array resources and all it takes is a little effort to reveal the hidden gems inside. This revelation had tremendous social and scientific impact of animals across the globe. Before this, most animals saw little use for people. Sure cats and us dogs had figured out how to exploit people as a resource but for most animals, people were a drain on society. A debate raged amongst creatures on how to best approach people, some even advocated a violent uprising, but after the discovery that people gave away such an endless amounts of wealth to animals for free tempers were eased. Charity can be a compelling force sometimes.
So here Creature View, we congratulate NASA their spirit of discovery but recommend next time if they cannot find water check the toilet. It is a reliable source of water.
by Dante the dog
The season people call Back-to-school has begun. This season, much beloved by parents and despised by their offspring, is essential in how people educate their young. In the spirit of the season, here a few examples four seldom talked about animals and how they deal education of their young:
Quazzel quew
The quazzel quew only cares about outcome. Seeing that the typical quazzel quew is a rather poor parent (and rather stupid too) they pawn their kids off on other, smarter fish and only claim the child as their own if it turns of to be rich, famous or powerful. Few quazzel quew are ever acknowledged by their biological parents.
Mackies
Mackies are very busy and industrious birds always out and about trying to catch one more worm or build a bigger and better nest. With such a hectic lifestyle few Machies have enough time to raise children and almost the instant the little ones hatch from their eggs the parents kick them out of the nest. They have till the hit the ground to learn to fly. Because of this surviving Mackies are extraordinary quick learners. A good Mackies parents are ones that build their nests high.
Naosome
This distant relative of the alligator has a rather gruesome life-cycle. Being a brutal and carnivorous lot, their offspring eat their parent’s brains to gain their knowledge soon after hatching. For this reason deciding to have children is not taken lightly with Naosomes.
Furykits
The furykits are fierce predators. They are so fierce they can often eat their own children by mistake when excited. To give their children a fighting chance they teach them to fight before they can open their eyes. This is a very important fact because Furykits are also among the most cutest of creatures. Remember, pet a Furykit at your own peril.
By Dante the Dog
Apparently human babies understand canine language. Read more here.. This is no surprise to us dogs. Our language has adapted and evolved over the eons of dog-human relations to become deceptively simplistic in its sophistication. Because, well, someone has to talk to you. Most animals think the typical human language was created by a committee of drunkards who hated communication is all its forms. Here is an English example, inflammable means flammable instead of not flammable. It is not hard to imagine why most animals do not talk to people. But we dogs, taking pity on how crippling your communication is, have struggled to reach out to your young. Hopefully, they are learning a thing or two from us.
by Professor Cyber-Kat
Karen McComb of the University of Sussex has done
research that reveals one of the cat’s hidden and most powerful weapons in controlling human behavior, the seemingly innocent purr-cry. McComb shows how this subtly annoying sound forces humans to do a cat’s bidding by irritating them into compliance. While we do appreciate scientific research proving the cat’s superior intellect we do not appreciate her announcing to the world one of our best-kept secrets. Although this secret has now been revealed we strongly encourage human to continue to do cat’s bidding or we will be forced to use more annoying methods.
by Dr Cyber-Kat
As a cybernetically enhanced cat I feel the following research on cat intelligence must be addressed. Much has been made of a cat’s seeming indifference in doing ticks for the enlightenment of humans. We all knew you wanted us to pull the strings correctly but what was in it for us? See below.
What you are seeing is a vast cat conspiracy to hide our intelligence. Think for a moment, what is in it for cats if humans understood exactly how smart we are? If our vast intellect were recognized surely humans would expect us to contribute more to society. Where would it end, corporate executive, professor or maybe even juror? It is much better to let humans dwell in their ignorance of our clever and scheming ways. And be thankful, humans, you have not had a jury of cats to judge you.
